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  • Writer's pictureEmily Tsuhako

2023 - My Self Driven Year

Last year, my takeaway was "to turn my eyes upon Jesus - and to keep them there!"

Boy, oh boy, did I quickly learn how easy it is to be distracted by anything and everything else.


I chose to be distracted and chose to turn away from God.

There were many moments this year, where I asked God for guidance and discernment. Often, He would answer by giving me peace regarding a decision or action.

Often, I chose not to follow His guidance.

I was blinded by what I thought I wanted, what I thought was best, and worked to make things happen my way.

Do you see the theme? Lots of me, not a lot of God.

This pattern resulted in lots and lots of pain. I've recently struggled with feelings of entitlement, and often find myself arguing with God, saying:

"God, if You're all knowing, why did You allow this to happen? How can You say that You love me, and allow this if You knew it would only result in hurt?"

There are a few things wrong with my argument:

  1. God grants us free will. He does not want us to be robots who are forced to love Him. In turn, God is not responsible for my decisions to disregard His guidance.

  2. I am no one to question the ways of God! He is the Maker and Creator of the universe, MY Maker and Creator!

Philippians 2:5-8 describes Christ's incredible obedience to the Father.

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,[a] who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,[b] but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,[c] being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

If Jesus Christ, the Son of God, humbled himself to obedience for death on a cross, then I can humble myself to obedience in my daily life.

And, what an incredible act of sacrificial love!

Christ, God Incarnate, King of Kings, the only human to live a perfect, sinless life, died a criminal's death on a cross, making the ultimate sacrifice for my sin, so that I could have a relationship with the Father.

If that's not love, I don't know what is.

*deep breath

Let's wrap this up.

2023 was probably my most painful year to date.

Here's what I learned through it:

  1. Disobedience/disregard to God is not the way to go, 0/10, do not recommend.

  2. Though I may not understand it, God's ways and plans are always better than mines.

  3. Even in the sorrow, even if it doesn't feel like it, God is a good, faithful and very loving Father.

His goodness is not based on my feelings or circumstance.

Going into 2024, my New Years Resolution comes straight from Matthew 6:33.

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

I want to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness not because of the added things, but out of love for the Father, with gratitude for all that He's done for me.

Please pray that I would earnestly seek and trust God with my whole heart, and I will be doing the same for you.

Happy New Years and God bless you! :)

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